Reflections on Singleness and Marriage

 

What Paul Really Says in 1 Corinthians 7

I recently listened to a very thoughtful and balanced discussion from the "Logos - What in the Word?" podcast, hosted by Kirk E. Miller with guest Dr. Danielle Treweek. Dr. Treweek has done significant academic and pastoral work on the theology of singleness, including her books The Meaning of Singleness (2023) and Single Ever After (2025). Their conversation on 1 Corinthians 7 is one of the most helpful treatments I’ve come across on this often-misunderstood chapter.

Setting the Scene in Corinth

Paul wrote 1 Corinthians 7 in the context of a church living in a morally challenging, pagan city. He had just addressed serious issues of sexual immorality in chapters 5 and 6, concluding with the powerful reminder: “You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body” (1 Corinthians 6:19-20 ESV).

Chapter 7 continues this theme by addressing questions the Corinthians had sent to Paul about marriage, singleness, divorce, and remarriage. Importantly, as Dr. Treweek points out, the modern word “single” as a lifestyle category does not appear in the original Greek. Paul speaks instead about the “unmarried” state — which includes widows, the betrothed, and others who are not currently married.

Does Paul Prefer Singleness?

One of the first questions people often ask is whether Paul is saying it is better to remain single. He does say, “I wish that all were as I myself am” (v.7), and later that widows would be “happier” if they remained unmarried (v.40). But Paul is careful to frame this as his own opinion and concession, not a universal command from the Lord.

Dr. Treweek helpfully clarifies that Paul is not ranking singleness as morally superior to marriage. Both are good gifts from God. However, in light of the “present distress” and the shortness of time before Christ’s return, singleness can offer unique opportunities for undivided devotion to the Lord and His work. Marriage is wonderful and honourable, but it naturally brings additional cares and responsibilities.

The So-Called “Gift of Singleness”

A common interpretation is that some people receive a special spiritual gift of singleness that gives them supernatural self-control for lifelong celibacy. Dr. Treweek argues convincingly that this is not what Paul means. The “gift” (charisma) in verse 7 simply refers to one’s current situation — whether married or unmarried — both of which come from God. There is no biblical evidence for a special “gift of singleness” that some receive and others do not. The Holy Spirit equips every believer to live faithfully in whatever season God has placed them.

This is pastorally important. It means unmarried Christians who desire marriage are not in “no man’s land” — they are not failing because they lack a special gift. God’s grace is sufficient for faithful living in the present.

“It Is Better to Marry Than to Burn”

Paul’s words in verse 9 are often quoted: “But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.” The discussion brings helpful clarity here. Paul is addressing people who are currently struggling with self-control and engaging in immorality. He is not asking believers to try to predict their future desires, but giving practical, compassionate advice in the moment: marriage is the honourable path if self-control is lacking.

The “Present Distress” and Living “As Though Not”

Paul’s counsel is shaped by the “present distress” (v.26) and the reality that “the appointed time has grown very short” (v.29). This eschatological urgency leads to his striking instructions that those who have wives should live “as though they had none,” those who mourn as though not mourning, and those who buy as though they had no goods (vv.29-31).

This does not mean neglecting marriage responsibilities. Rather, it means refusing to let the concerns of this passing world consume us. Married believers are still called to wholehearted devotion to Christ — their marriages should be lived in light of eternity, not tied down by worldly anxieties.

A Balanced and Encouraging Vision

What emerges from this chapter is a beautiful, freeing vision: whether married or unmarried, our highest calling is undivided devotion to the Lord Jesus Christ. Singleness and marriage are both valid, God-given states in this age between Christ’s first and second comings. Neither is superior; both can powerfully display the gospel.

In a culture that often idolises romantic love on one hand or radical independence on the other, Paul calls us back to Christ-centred living. Our value and identity are not ultimately found in our relationship status, but in the fact that we have been bought with a price and now belong to Him.

Dr. Treweek’s careful, humble approach to the text is a model for how we should handle such sensitive topics in the church — with exegetical care, pastoral sensitivity, and a desire to let Scripture speak clearly.

May we all, whether married or single, seek to live with hearts fully devoted to our Saviour, using whatever season we are in for His glory.

Article written by Shaun Fereday, Leader @SFGH Church